**(I saw this on another blog and thought it was cute. I just had to share)
My Dearest Baby Boy,
Your current eviction date of July 28, 2010 (to the elation of your grandfather---being that it is his birthday and you are being named after him) has been set for the past 240 days. In the past few months, I understand that you have become extremely comfortable in your current dwelling. Unfortunately, I need to discuss some of the key points of your lease with you.
The 4:30am dance parties were not discussed in your lease, and they've been doing damage to the walls.
The blockage of a numerous amount of pipes and the leaking of others has to be put to an end!
Also, as far as adding square footage to the dwelling, we discussed a reasonable addition. You have surpassed that by much more than we discussed.
I have prepared another home for you to reside, so don't let house hunting be the reason you stay. Should your eviction date come and pass, please note that I will use forceful measures to remove you. I would like for this transition to be as painless and quick as possible. Please don't make this any harder than it has to be.