Tuesday, April 20, 2010

the size of a quarter...

Something fun about Nick is that he does not do bees/flying insects. He always gets stung. If there are 40 bees in the vicinity: I do not get stung once, he is stung three or four times. Then they swell up more than I can describe. It's ridiculous. Maybe his blood has an attractant in it. My guess would be all the soda---it makes his blood run more sugary. te he.

Anyway because of this nature, he lets me deal with the bugs. I am glad to help out.

Yesterday, Claire and I were at the hospital. I beginning to notice that Claire was walking more, getting into things, anxious to move around. Generally starting to drive me crazy because she almost pulled her IV out on more occasions than I can count. Nick calls us from home. He had to get to a meeting and went home to change.

Nick: Between the window and the two plants you have in the kitchen window, there is the biggest, most disgusting, bumble bee I have ever seen.

deb: Okay

I'm sitting there thinking that hmmmmm...Nick is not going to just let it be for me to take care of later because he doesn't want it to come after him, nor does he want to leave and let it be free and him unable to locate it later. Meaning: Nick is going to have to do SOMETHING to the insect.

deb: put it under a cup and I'll deal with it later.

Nick: It won't fit!

deb: it's that big?

Nick: It's the biggest bee I've ever seen in my life!

deb: so it won't fit under a cup?

Nick: I don't think I could position the cup in a way to catch it.

deb: use the salad tongs to move it.

Nick: Ah! I'd do better with a fork and I'm not getting that close to it! It's gotta be the size of a quarter! and it has two colors on it's back! A gold and a yellowish.

deb: Okay....

Nick: I know, I'll vacuum it up!

deb: yeah, you could do that.

*hear Nick getting the vacuum out, plugging it in, running it...

Nick: Here kitty, kitty, kitty...

ummm...okay...I'm dying here. I mean, is he really calling that thing a cat!? is he really trying to get it to come to him by calling to it as if it were!?

deb: *trying to restrain laughter*

Nick: Wait! I need to put the extension on it. Make it as long as possible, so I don't have to be as close!

*hears Nick turning off the vacuum, putting on the extension, etc.

Turns it back on.

Nick: Here kitty, kitty, kitty...

Wait! I have to do this the right way. I should take a picture of this thing! No, I should record this thing!

*Turns off the vacuum and gets his camera phone out. Totally starts recording....explains the entire journey to this point and then proceeds to the finale: the sucking up of the bug.

Nick: Here kitty, kitty, kitty...*Sucking large insect up noises* Now, I stick the vacuum in the bathroom, close the door and it's ready for deb. *signs off on his camera phone*

deb: *dying of laughter*

Nick: WAIT! I can't find it! Can it climb back out? Like up the hose?

deb: uhhhhh...possibly...I don't know.

Nick: AGH! What should I do? Oh, I know...I'll stick the hose in a thing of water, so if it does crawl back up it'll drown. *sink noises* That's better. K, Wiffy, it's all ready for you.

*a few hours pass and I trade Nick: I'm at home teaching voice and he's with Claire*

I walk into the bathroom to find the vacuum with the hose in a sink full of water. I'm laughing to myself as I pull the vacuum away. Guess what else I do at the same time....Yep, you guessed it. I turned it on by accident...inadvertently sucking up the sink full of water! This vacuum is not designed to house water, so it sprays everywhere! Genius! That was a fun clean up. And I never did actually see this thing. But, in a stressful week, it's great to have a guy like Nick to make me laugh. Hope it made you laugh, too. Apparently this video is on his facebook account. You'll have to check it out.


Lauren said...

The video was funny, but I think your description was even funnier...

MarkyDsMom said...

oh my goodness that was the funniest thing ever... it was so hard to contain my laughter here at work at the thought of your husband recording that like the "crocidile hunter" LOL thank you for that!! i wish i had access to facebook so i could view it! ahhhh your husband is pure COMEDY, lol i love it!
also - i am very glad to hear your daughter is doing better!

theferrisoneofall said...

I don't know how I missed this post, but it is histerical!!