Little lamby

Claire was in her first musical! Lil' Red in the Hood

I was the musical director, though I didn't have her audition. The director asked her to be in it. Fine by me. She was...5 in a play for 8+. She did amazingly well for being only 5, but you know me. I have too high of expectations for her. I wanted her to sit quietly when no one else was. I had to really let only the director correct her behavior. Even to the point of me pretending I saw nothing. Does this ever get easier???

Anyway, she was a cutie.

family photos may 23, 2014

We love how Zoey has her crooked teeth smile in this one.

Told you she loved shoes.

Isn't this kid HANDSOME?

Apparently Nick used to make this face. So did Claire. 

She's so BIG!!! Almost makes me cry.

Can we talk about how cute my kiddos are?

awesomeness...

Nick, on average, works about 75 hour weeks. He only gets paid for 40, so it's a little frustrating. The last two weeks have been...well H-E-Double Hockey Sticks rings a bell in my mind for accuracy. He gets up at 5 and isn't home till after 10. I feel like when we first moved here when he would get up at 430 and be home after 11 or 12am. That was worse, but this is really awful because he isn't being paid for it. Otherwise I wouldn't be whining. Sorry. Anyway...

This weekend, he had a brother graduate from law school in Texas. We decided to send Nick because, hey, let's show support to a brother and because Nick needed a break. A big one. So he left on Friday.

I've never been a great mom. I try. I read books, I listen to advice, and ask for it. But really, I'm hard on my kids in ways I shouldn't be (ie, Claire had to vacuum the car 6 times in a row because she didn't do a good enough job. While I think it teaches her a lot, I'm sure there other ways to do it. I do look for those things, but until I find the right method, I've made mistakes like this one. And I feel like I've tried everything). I expect too much of them often. But I'd rather expect too much than too little, honestly, so if I change something, it better be worth the effort and actually be effective. Repetition is probably the best teacher I know and I wield that as a mom.

I tell you these things to complete my story.

Also, it has taken a lot to get to the point that I don't yell. I'm not perfect at that either! But yelling is a once in a while occurrence (once a week/month instead of hourly). When Nick isn't around at all to take some parental pressure off, the yelling increases. I feel horrible after it happens and then I'm good for a few days until it builds again.

This morning, we had a great morning. Claire asked about grandparents, so we did a genealogy chart to show how grandparents work. We had chocolate chip pancakes, eggs and grapes. We laughed when Claire and Matthew went outside after just having showered and readied for church and then proceeded to dump buckets of rain water on each other (totally used to yell at that). We spoke to Nick on Skype and laughed and laughed. Then...the dreaded rush to get out the door on time for church. I TRY to leave 20 minutes early. So we can walk and so I can feel ready for sitting there for a long time. Well, 25 minutes before church, I'm giving the kiddos directions about shoes and teeth and potty when I walk down the stairs with Zoey. And BAM! I'm falling! I catch myself a bit (with my big toe) and then fall to my doom down the rest of the stairs ( about 3) where my hand is UNDER the spot trying to protect Zoey's head from hitting while trying to dodge landing on my pregnant belly.

I'm yelling and crying. Bruiser has moved the walker (Zoey's) right in the middle of the stairs. So yelling at Bruiser soon starts.

I've broken my toe, Zoey has a bruise on her cheek and I'm shaken and scared I hurt her worse. yelling. At my three year old. Who has no idea what "Don't leave your toys in the middle of the way" means. AGH! And no one to help me or wipe my tears, check my Zoey, or my toe. But guess what?

I do have someone. Someones.

Just when you think that you are broken, God tells someone and they help (if they listen).

Claire and Bruiser come running into the room with ointment and band aids (for my bleeding knees, because they can't see anything else that's hurt).

I'm so grateful. How could life be fuller? Seriously. And I had reverted back to Bad Mom. I didn't deserve those sweet blessings.

I have the best kids. Thank you for being so willing to forgive me, kiddos. I love you.

What a bucketful of awesome. I'm so blessed.

my body tells me...

We talk a lot about what our bodies are telling us to do. This originated from Claire having lots of potty problems. So we need to "listen to our bodies". And it spans over to when our bodies tell us we are full, or that we need a drink instead of candy or that we are bored instead of hungry...etc.

Bruiser hates bedtime (to digress, I'm so WORRIED about this problem for when the baby comes! Advice, anyone?). He wants to go potty 20 times, or needs a drink or whatever. He's in and out of his room. A few times I've found the toilet brush in the middle of the carpet, or something equally as disgusting. A few other times, he goes outside. When we first moved here, I was in the bathtub and he went outside. A naked Deb scared for a child in the street is not a happy thing. Solution? LOCK HIM IN! So we do. If he comes out once, he gets locked in. It seems harsh, but I don't know what else to do. Solutions? Suggestions? HELP!

So, tonight is much like any other night. Bruiser came out of his room after I took him to the bathroom twice, gave him a drink, etc. When he came out on his own, he said he needed to go to the potty. We took him. There was no evidence of needing to go potty. Then, we locked the door. He began yelling. Nick goes up to see what's the matter (which I won't do. I think it promotes him to do it more) and Nick tells him:

Bruiser, stop yelling. You're going to hurt your throat.

Bruiser pauses. Thinks for a second. And then says:

My throat tells me I have to go potty.

Name help...

Seriously...I need name help.

I can't think of anything!!! And it doesn't help that anything I do like, Nick hates. HELP or this kid will be named Monster #4.

socks...

We call this girl so many things: Zoey the Zebra, Zig-Zag-Zoe, and Bruiser mostly calls her Ziggy. So, Ziggy LOVES things that go on feet. Personally, yuck. But she will grab anyone's shoe she can find and put it on her hand. Not both, just one. The weirdest part is that she hates it on her own feet. She scrunches and pivots her feet until the shoes fall off, or in this case...This was on the drive home from Disneyland (Oct 2013). She decided that she'd had enough.

Now can manage to get anything off her own feet except for tights. In the Winter she wore a lot of tights because I always had to take her to pick up Bruiser from school. I would always get the oddest looks because of my sockless daughter. Who takes a baby out in the cold without any socks on? Well, me, I guess. Because she'll take them off when I'm driving somewhere and then SUCK on them so they are sopping wet. I assumed it was better to have no socks than to have wet socks in the freezing cold. Crazy Ziggy.

a new super hero...

A long time ago, I told Bruiser that Superman doesn't need gloves, or as he calls them "glubs". After that day, he decided that he didn't want to be Superman anymore. He proceeded to ask me which super heroes DO need gloves. This is the morning he fully decided to choose. He came in to our room, woke us all up, turned on the lights and told us: "I am Iron Man! I have rocket boots!" You can see the Superman pj's under this new outfit. And he figures that all stripes indicate Iron Man. I have no idea why. The most surprising part of this ensemble is that he is not wearing his trademark glubs.

Rocketships...a different kind.

It is a common subject in our house, rocketships. Bruiser (Matthew) nicknamed his poop rocketships when he first started going on the toilet. They are still referred to that way even when we tell him the more logical name would be submarines.

Lately, Matthew has been telling everyone at our house that they are going to be on his rocketship and he will fly away with us. It's almost like who he takes on his rocketship is who he loves. Who he will protect. He's a sweety.

The terrible threes have not been a factor with this kid, except on rare occasions. He likes to push his sister's buttons!! And he loves to see how much he can get away with. You do have to be on your toes, but you do not have to feel at a loss with this one. You can predict his moves!

Zoey 12 month...

Ohmigoodness!

I can't believe this girl is a year! It breaks my heart to know that she is growing so fast. She is truly a joy. I'm so grateful to have her in our home.

Bruiser loves to wrestle this girl. And she is totally willing. It is hard to keep the two apart. They play really well together. Who knew?

Claire loves to mother this girl. It's hard for me to let her, but it's also another eyeball keeping Zoey safe. I still remember the time I was distracted by...I don't know, life...And Zoey found something on the floor. A bead from Claire's broken bracelet that Claire and I had missed (ahhh!!! We really did search! It's a big deal, ya know?) and Zoey put it right in her mouth. Claire and Matthew had a FHE on the scariness of leaving things on the floor that might cause Zoey to choke. Claire saw it, ran over, and reached her (probably dirty!!) fingers in and grabbed it! I was watching because Claire had yelled to get Zoey's action. I'm so grateful that she noticed and took attention. Bravo, girl.

Zoey LOVES to play independently and I'm relieved, cause if I had another Claire, I might die. ;) Zoe loves to push walkers. She walks on her tip toes like Claire did/does. She does not like to crawl much, so she uses her hands and feet to kind of crab walk.

Sign language drives her crazy. She does do all done, more, milk, etc, but she would so much rather just make verbal noises. Bruiser signed for so long this is strange to me, but so neat!

She isn't quite the snuggler that Matthew is, but she is much better than Claire ever was. When you get her up from naps, she puts her head on your shoulder and pats your back...for about 2 seconds...then she's done.

9 months

We have a great family.

Stats for 12 months:
weight: 21 lbs 81%
height: 27 1/4 inches 79%
head: I never remember anything but the 91%

It's a....

we are taking name suggestions ;)